


Feels Like We've Been Apart for a Lifetime

by A_fallen_prince_A_worthy_hero



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo Lives, F/M, Rey Skywalker, Rey Solo, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo Week 2020
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:01:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23908141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_fallen_prince_A_worthy_hero/pseuds/A_fallen_prince_A_worthy_hero
Summary: There was a reason why the Force connected them. Why, this time, she was a Jedi. Why they finally learnt to save their beloved from death. Why Palpatine had his sight set on Leia’s son. Why Ben was so attached, yet couldn’t connect with his grandfather. Why Rey could see the light in Ben. Why Rey called herself a Skywalker.Because she was, a lifetime ago.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ben Solo, Kylo Ren/Rey, Padmé Amidala & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala & Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	1. A Monster

**Author's Note:**

> This time Anakin knew better. As a child he was forced to darkness, forced to look away from the love of his parents and be a complete puppet at the hands of Snoke. A strange expectation and hurt hurled towards Luke, for he had saved him once yet failed do it again. All curiosity of the dark side had been meted - with pain, suffering and tragedy. His desperation for finding Luke brought him face to face with a woman so familiar, yet a stranger. A woman in front of whom he could not keep his mask. A woman who was allowed into the deep recess of his mind. When he touched her hand, he saw who she was.
> 
> This time Padmé knew better, she was born with immense hope and the faith of bringing justice to the galaxy. True, a part of her didn’t want to do anything with the Jedi or Force, innately afraid of what greatness could bring. Yet she immediately connected with Leia, the woman who seemed so much like her own, the leader of the Rebellion. For a strange reason Leia’s mission became hers, until one day she was faced with the man who robbed Leia’s happiness. The man who’s mask she hated. The man who looked so... familiar. The man who desperately wanted her to join him and rule the galaxy. The man who was making the same mistakes. When she touched his hand, she was who he was.
> 
> When Ben & Rey touched hands, they didn’t just see their future but a terrifying glimpse of their past.

“I know everything I need to know about you,” Rey fumed, Han’s death fresh in her mind. Kylo Ren walked towards, never breaking his gaze and stared deep into her soul. 

In a slow nod of mock understanding he whispered, “Ah you do.” Rey flinched, her anger and _disappointment_ rose for the man in front of her. Kylo stared at her long enough, his own hurt spilling through. Rey frowned as an odd thought crossed her, as if she had been in a similar position before. As if he had confessed of crimes, more terrible, yet she had held him close.

> _“I killed them,” he choked, “I killed them all. They’re dead, every single one of them. And not just the men, but the women, and the children too. They’re like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals! I hate them” And despite all his anger he collapsed by a wall on the ship.  
> _
> 
> _She sat by him and held his hand, barely terrified of his deeds._
> 
> _She could understand, she might have done the same for her own people. And he had done this to the ones who hurt his mother._
> 
> _So how could the same man do this to his own father? How could he ruin his mother's happiness? Leia? Their Leia?_

Rey snapped out of her thoughts as a wave of cold water splashed against her. No the man before her was someone else. Someone who hadn't hesitated to kill his own father. A father who did not deserve such a death. 

“You have that looks in your eyes. The one from the forest where you called me a monster.” 

"Because you are a monster!" She snapped. Kylo stared, surprised, as if he expected to hear something else. 

> _“To be angry is to be human,” She had advised, holding him in her warm arms as he cried for having killed several._
> 
> _“I am a Jedi,” he countered with as much as strength as he could, “I know I’m better than this-” he broke into a cry, soothed by her embrace. And now, she didn't remember nor have any of the empathy she once did. In her eyes he shall always be the man who killed Han. As if he never felt what went through his mother. Leia. As if she know what Luke had done. Luke, the boy who was truly the chosen one._

He took a few, soft steps towards her and stared deep into her eyes, searching for kindness. Except, he found judgement. Her words rang in the air, like a slap on his face. _You are a monster!_

"Yes I am." Rey lost her footing at his admission. Goosebumps broke out as he searched her eyes, no her soul. She could feel the warmth radiating from his body. She stood rooted to her spot, waiting for him to move, closer. Yet he looked at her lips, and his own parted and before anyone could do anything he closed the bond. 

_Yes, I am_. His whisper hung in the air. 

Those were not the words of a monster. 


	2. “You are in my very soul,”

## 

Rey shivered despite the fire and blanket. She was still drench in the cold water. In the memories of isolation. She begged for her parents, for her belonging, but found no one.

“I thought I'd find answers here. I was wrong. I've never felt so alone.”

“You're not alone.” Ben interrupted, his eyes red with unshed tears. It broke her heart more than her loneliness. 

“Neither are you,” she whispered, surprised at his disbelief. They looked at each other, her fire warming his pale face, his breaths echoing her stone walls. They had done this before, sat and expressed their hearts as painfully as they could. 

> _They sat by the fire, hesitant, shy and reluctant. No longer could they play games or discuss politics to avoid the feelings between them. They were still children, yet now the world forced them to grow up._
> 
> _He turned towards her, taking a moment to look at the fire dancing across her face. Oh God, she was beautiful._
> 
> _“From the moment I met you,” he began, “all those years ago, a day hasn't gone by when I haven't thought of you. And now that I'm with you again, I'm in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you makes my stomach turn over - my mouth goes dry. I feel dizzy. I can't breathe” he throat choked with tears._
> 
> _Would she understand him? Ridicule him? She couldn’t meet his eyes, not when he saying everything she wanted to hear but could not accept. Even the hint of his anger scared her, disappointed her. In her eyes he was the most perfect Jedi one could ever be._
> 
> _The fate of the political future laid in her hands. They were children. They were the future. And she could not allow him to throw it away for the feelings she couldn’t afford to return._
> 
> _“You are in my very soul, tormenting me.” She closed her eyes, she sensed a tragedy in the future. A desperation. But it was only because they weren’t meant to be. Only because their union would shift them away from their responsibilities._
> 
> _“What can I do? I will do anything you ask...” He begged, tears shining in his eyes._
> 
> _Could he? Now that he knows the dark side could he come to the light? Now that the questionable Jedi council didn’t exist, now that the Republic was in shambles, now that the world was wise enough to accept any and every form of light - would he still do anything she asked?_

There was a sign of resignation on his face. As if his torment had never stopped. A yearning to get to the light, but perhaps he couldn’t give her what she asked. It was too late

“It isn't too late.” Ben looked up, surprised at her _hope._ Slowly, yet steadily she extended her hand towards him. Tears rolled down her cheeks as her trust hung heavy in the bond. 

It had been so long. 

His eyes watered, lips trembled and hands shook as he removed his glove. Any moment, he waited for her to retract but she kept waiting, gazing at him with a sudden tenderness and hope.

The bond thrummed in the light as they crossed lightyears, inching towards the other. 

Time stopped. Breaths hitched. Lips parted. 

Tears gathered around their eyes as they could feel their skins, warm and soft. 

_It’s you, it is you..._

Memories fluttered faster than they could process. Laughter, joy, fear, inhibitions, _children._ There he was, in his light, the strongest Jedi there had ever been. There she was, ruling the republic with her newfound powers, a child of ungrateful, filthy junk traders for parents. They were built for greatness. 

Recognition and longing etched on their faces. Neither could stop their tears. She wanted to hold his face, feel his hair, kiss his lips. He wanted her arms around him, to soothe him. 

_Oh it had been so dreadfully long. Just one moment more, one moment more to know who they we-_

“STOP!” Luke screamed, a force shattering their bond. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave comments or Kudos :)  
> Connect with me on my Tumblr @a-fallen-prince-a-worthy-hero  
> Thank you for your time in reading this story.


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